Something to Say
Well I know I haven’t done a Mad Music Monday post in a long time, but it is not because I haven’t been indulging in new music. In face maybe just the opposite. So many great albums have been hitting the last few months it has been a little hard to keep  up.
Well I am not going to do a full album review today, but rather I want to delve into one song that has struck me. Before I do that I will quickly say that Starfield‘s new record Saving One is really good, and I would totally recommend you check it out if you haven’t already.
Having said that Something to Say in one of the tracks on the new album that has really impacted me. Here are the lyrics for those of you who have not yet heard it:
I’ve got something to say
It’s been one of those days
When I’m finding it hard to believe in YouI’ve got something to say
I’ve forgotten how to pray
And I’m finding it hard to believe the truthI’ve got something to say
Right now it feels like You are slipping away
Like I am drowning in a crisis of faith
Like I’m aloneI’ve got something to say
What was black and white is grey
And I’m finding it hard to believe in YouAnd faith might mean there won’t be answers
And hope might mean enduring through the night
But help me not forget in darkness
The things that I believed in lightI’ve got something to say
Right now it feels like You are slipping away
Like I am drowning in a crisis of faith
Like I was found, but now I’m lost in the fray
Granted they are not the most theologically/doctrinally deep lyrics, but they attempt to express (but thankfully not answer) the nagging question that I think all Christians deal with at some point in their spiritual lives. The song honestly and openly confesses how our humanness can sometimes interfere and even defeat our faith in our great Savior.
It is a hard confession to make, and brings about an even harder questions to face. What does it mean that my faith can be broken? What does it say about me and my relationship with Jesus I doubt? What does it express about my God, and most importantly what does He think about me when it happens?
I have had many conversations surrounding these very questions with friends, family, and even myself. I can’t say that I necessarily have definitive answers to all of them, and am not sure we even can have generic answers that fit ever situation such as this. I believe these are matters of the heart and moments of testing that are best left to the discernment and personal conviction of the Holy Spirit.
However, the bridge of this song (bold section above) did bring me new clarity and personal revelation about how I perceive these times in my life.
See often when faced with hardships, temptations, trials, or attacks I cling to my faith and hope in Jesus because I expect He will deliver me. That is good, but when the answers don’t come in the variety or time table I expect that same faith and hope inexcusably starts to fade. So as this song so eloquently reminds me, I have to ground my faith and hope in the truth of who He is, not in past or future outcomes.
Lord Jesus, please help me to remember in the darkness what I believed in the light!
–Wholly Surrender!